Story

For the first time in my life, at 38, I'm alone. When I was 18 I basically moved out of my parents' straight in with my highschool sweetheart, and we were together ever since. That chapter of my life is over now, and I'm finding the adjustment very difficult.

There are a few parts to the difficulty. One is that when I have something to say about my day, there's nowhere to say it; no one on HN cares whether I fixed up the blinds or cooked pork steaks. I hang out in an IRC chatroom for that, but sometimes nobody's around for hours.

Another is that weekends are hard. I used to be in a house filled with life each weekend, and now it's me and my dog (and my cat, when he decides to grace me with his presence). Having animals helps somewhat, but it's still hard simply being alone with myself for ~60 hours.

I'm also finding it difficult to think of things to do. My default action is to play games, but it feels empty, both because I used to be able to play games alongside someone else and because I have no one to share the cool moments with.

I understand that many of you find alone-ness to be natural, and even required. All I can say is that I haven't ever lived that way. I sometimes panic when it's been too long since I've seen another person.

There are the usual suggestions: go to the dog park more often, pick something and build it, read books, hop on dating sites, find a hobby, and so on. But I'm finding it hard to actually do any of that. I would blame depression, but I have a great psychiatrist who has me on antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, and mood stabilizers.

I work remote, and that's currently my main way to gratify social cravings. But it's not a consistent way, since the time zone difference is quite large (I'm -7 hours vs them).

Everything feels hollow now. That's the main thing that's hard to adjust to. I was hoping for some psychological tricks to deal with that, or just to hear stories from other people who have had to undergo similar situations. In many ways it feels like being imprisoned, except at least in prison there are other inmates to socialize with. "Solitary confinement with internet" is probably a better analogy.

I was hoping to hear from anyone in the community who's transitioned from a family dynamic to being on your own, and to learn from any lessons you've picked up along the way. Or just to hear some stories in general about your experiences. Thanks.